Eleven Leaping Listeners!
Have you ever tried to listen and do other things at the same time? Maybe you are listening to learn, trying to save time? Perhaps listening to catch someone out, to prove something? Are you listening and going through the motion because you are too busy? Too frantic? Too busy to hear of someone or something of less significance? Sometimes we do this because our minds are full or ploughing through deadlines.
Most of us think we must try harder to do something better; or we might feel stuck in a lengthy search for improvement.
Returning to stillness and experiences of calmness allows us to listen deeply to our own wisdom and to listen to others with wisdom.
Can you think of a time you were not heard properly?
In my book, I write about a young child who was brought to me by his teacher, he was in big trouble with her. She has written a comment on his work, asking him to tell her more and he had replied
"I would but you never listen anyway you just tell me to be quiet!"
The joy of being a mediator between an injured pair means you can create a listening space, a sacred human space where both points of view are considered and not prejudged.
Being deeply listened to is a vital human need. Very rarely do we connect heart to heart with our full attention on each other, in a conversation. Instead, we choose to listen to the thinking in our heads.
Having trouble listening usually means we are being distracted.
Often, we are encouraged think positively or to step up, to calm down, to focus on something that helps us to TRY harder and try again.
This trying is yet more thinking!
The more thought we have, the more feelings. Every thought comes with a feeling and anything we try to do at this point - to quiet the mind, just adds to the chaos. This does not mean we take on more thinking about our listening, quite the opposite. More thinking focuses us right back to 'doing' and not simply being.
Meditation and being positive is a temporary lapse out of the intensity of feeling under pressure. AS if we are suspended from the crazy feeling of running out of time. Suspended from doing more.
Michael Neill talks about having that freedom of mind, allowing us to be and not trying to control! And that we can use the ‘playdough’ of thought to shape into our personal thinking
This is allowing your mind to do whatever it does and not fall into the deep-down depth of a rabbit hole – full of further thinking or SHOULDS. Michael explains this clearly here
When we feel unable to listen . . . (just 2 minutes)
Michael Neill was my key global tutor when I trained in his Super Coach Academy in 2013 – and in his advanced coaching group in 2015. Michael can be found here www.michaelneill.org
Anni Poole The Wellbeing Coach and Warrior www.hlsgroup.net